Left Hand Path Blog

Sorry Girl, He is Stringing You Along….

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If you are reading this article because you are confused about where you stand with the man you have been dating for a while, then it’s highly probable you are being strung along.  Men do this for a variety of reasons, and none of them are healthy for you.  He could be keeping you around until ‘something better’ comes along or he just wants occasional companionship and casual sex.  If this is happening to you, he does not see you as ‘girlfriend’ material and it’s time to cut that string and move on.

Sometimes the process is so subtle that even the shrewdest of women get caught up this painful mind game.  This is usually because the dating relationship starts off romantically, you see him often, and you start to feel like it could be the beginning of something special.  But then over a period of weeks or months, you notice that you are seeing him less often and becoming less and less of a priority in his life… yet he keeps in touch with you by text or phone…. just enough to keep you interested.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words.  If his actions don’t match his words, it’s time to leave.  If he showers you with copious amounts of affection and attention when you are alone together, but acts like you barely know each other around his friends, then that’s a huge clue that he does not see you as girlfriend material. 

It’s easy to get taken in by all the romantic and flattering text messages, but does he demonstrate those feelings in real life?  If not, he is stringing you along.  Text messages can easily entice you to believe he is emotionally connected to you.

He will text you to vent about work, talk about his family, or flirt with you at all hours, but does he attempt to make a date or a plan to see you?  If the answer is ‘no’ or he doesn’t bother to make a date until he senses you pulling away, then you have your answer.

The next time you are together, and he acts as if he truly cares about you, objectively watch his eyes and his body language.  Is he hiding something?  Stop seeing what you want to see and really look at him.  In my experience man always give away their true feelings either through their body language or statements.  Pay close attention to how he looks at you and the things he says to you.  Is he respectful or does he push your boundaries?  Does he say or do things that are hurtful just to get a rise out of you?  If so, you are being played.

How much time does he spend with you?  I know, we all have busy lives but remember when he made spending time with you a priority in the beginning?  I dated a man who took every opportunity to see me during the first weeks of our ‘relationship’.  But during the last month, I was not even close to being a priority and I started to wonder if he was married or in another relationship.

Once, I asked him to go on a short trip, and he said he could not because he had boxes to move.  Somehow in his mind, moving boxes was a higher priority than spending some of the little time he had, with me.  Clearly, I meant nothing to him.

I cannot stress enough that when he texts you and says he misses you because he has no time for you, it’s time to move on.  You have a better chance of winning the lottery than having a real relationship with this man. This is an emotional, passive-aggressive roller coaster.  It is dishonest, disrespectful and will eventually make you sick.

Later, I went on the trip without my text-buddy and met someone else, which brings me to another point; if you are wasting time with Mr. Wrong, Mr. Right might just sneak right past you. 

We all deserve to be someone’s first choice and not someone’s backup plan or after thought.  Personally, I won’t settle for less than what I want in a relationship, which includes, trust, intimacy and commitment.  If I don’t get it, I am perfectly happy with my life the way it is. 

 

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